I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
