is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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