It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Everclear isn't food dammit
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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