Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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