Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Pooping to opera.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize