Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
