Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
