Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
