and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
