She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
