I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
