I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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