does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
