is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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