Buhtt sex?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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