at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
