Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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