I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
