Dual....:-)
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
