My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
be right there i have to get my cape
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
