Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
