i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
