My friends, they love my intelligence
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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