naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
