she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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