If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
