just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
