I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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