The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
