flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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