I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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