I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
