So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize