I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
