I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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