One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
