and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I had to cum in my sink.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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