I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
