I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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