Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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