im drinking this country out of the recession.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
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