kristin has been a bad kristin
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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