I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
