it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
