So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
