Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
