Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
