What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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