I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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