he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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