The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
