Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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