as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
