We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
